Nowhere is Utopia

I’m going to take a little detour on this one peeps from the usual slice of life from New Orleans. As it seems only fitting on this day I spend some time reflecting about what this vessel of lunacy that is America means to me. As most who keep up with my ramblings would know, I went over the falls and became an American citizen back in February. This was a decision that was perhaps given more consideration than the Treaty of Versailles but involved way fewer palaces and world leaders, and is one I have almost no regrets over. If I’m asked why I did it my immediate response is an indignation for paying taxes and not being able to vote. But it of course runs much deeper than that. If you are committed to and love, you love all of it. The good, the bad, the crippling disappointment, the uplifting, the enraging, and the inspiring. All of it.

I am only speaking to my experience of America, understanding it’s different for everyone, particularly when your skin tone goes north of beige. I find this reality is far from the bastion of equality and fairness so much popular culture portrays it to be. But I not only drank the Kool Aid 10 years ago when I moved here, I guzzled it like it was served at an open bar. Imagine my surprise when I found out the world according to DJ Tanner might have been a little skewed. Despite this, I still love America but am also very proudly Australian. Rarely more so than when I talk about how our country not only debated effective gun control reform in a meaningful way, we made it happen. I often remain silent on this issue because I grow weary of being mocked by the ignorant and over-compensating. But I have come to realise the ugly truth that saying nothing is inaction in and of itself and that is unacceptable. I have a voice and a responsibility to use it coming from the place of privilege I do. With all that being said, my American experience has thankfully been almost wholly and distinctly New Orleans. This is a very different America than most can comprehend and a greater beacon of openness, hospitality, creativity, compassion, kindness and acceptance than I have ever known. This might not fit the worldview of America but this is what I know. So if you dare look beyond the tragic headlines and the heartbreaking complacency when it comes to gun violence, and protecting women’s reproductive rights, you might  discover America is complicated and by no means  a monolith. You might also discover the willingness to fight injustice and protect the most vulnerable is real and very much mobilised.

After a loss I still can’t put words to, I often move through this vivid landscape in a fog of shock and sadness. Some memories of my decade here aren’t comforting anymore, but I’m told one day they will bring me warmth again and all I can do is take one day at a time. While I don’t feel like my decision to become an American citizen makes me any less Australian, it carries a weight that at times feels overwhelming and almost insurmountable. But there is a picture here that is bigger and stretches further than the horizon, and infinitely beyond my insecurities. So today despite some anger and fear, I toast the America I have seen and know it is capable of being. I toast to the America that has given me another family. I toast to those I know who choose to be informed, considerate, and listen. Let me be clear, Fox News DOES NOT count as being informed. And I dedicate this blog to those who face greater adversity than I will ever understand but who continue to rise and approach their fellow human beings with open minds and hearts despite a lifetime and beyond of personal experiences that tell them they should do the opposite.