Like any murmuring metropolis New Orleans has an eclectic mix of neighbourhoods. Each wonderfully different, each with their own very distinct characteristics, each with property prices relative to crime statistics. Keeping somewhat consistent with my last post in which you got a snapshot of my neighbourhood, the ever-vibrant Faubourg-Marigny, let me now take you into the adjacent Bywater. Not too long ago the gods of exploration and discovery decided yours truly needed a minimal change of scenery and steered me in the direction of dog sitting duties for some fellow settlers along the river. Splintering the Marigny and Bywater neighbourhoods is a set of always-functioning railway tracks and I’ve always felt there was an almost romantic, antiquated charm where trains were concerned. This was tarnished somewhat when I was awoken at 2:00am by an overly-vigilant train driver getting a little enthusiastic about blowing his horn (not a metaphor peeps!). And then there’s the time I was stuck on a bus at a stop signal waiting for what felt like an 800-car goods train moving through at the speed of a retiree on Valium. But I digress!
Introducing one of the more flamboyant performers in the Bywater show: The Country Club. This neighbourhood cornerstone provides a varied southern menu and has been a popular spot for brunch since before it was commonplace to proudly hang a rainbow flag out front. Brunch: hangover remedy, popular with those who are not early risers, intrinsically linked in these parts to the Bloody Mary. Two words possibly never associated with brunch: Drag and Queen…until now. This is New Orleans and the wonderful reality is on every 3rd Sunday of the month you best bring an open mind with that pounding head or queasy stomach, and some bills because these ladies don’t do anything by halves. Where else in the world could you get, ear drum splitting dance music and fried chicken and waffles all whilst enjoying the comforting caress of fake boobs….if you’re lucky enough. On this given Sunday Big Momma Lavouge was the star of the show and Madame brings her A-game. I had the pleasure of chatting to Big Momma weeks earlier in her civvies and the transformation is nothing short of wow; courtesy of wigs so plentiful they could defy gravitational pull and eye make-up Amy Winehouse may not have had the stones for. This is how Sundays should be.
For the hard to please out there who wouldn’t consider Big Momma and her colleagues entertainment enough, there is always the pool out back. The clothing optional pool out back. At the point where you cross that threshold it could only help you if your open mind is still intact. For the more conservative and reserved, you may not cope so well despite the fact there’s alcohol within striking distance should it all become too much. As with pretty much any situation in life, there are always exhibitionists who walk among us. I personally feel pelvic thrusts are not all-that-often appropriate outside your own four walls and they’re even less appropriate when you’re naked amongst strangers. But that could just be me. If I’m to be perfectly honest however you do get used to your surroundings so quickly it will take you by surprise and the old adage “you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all”, really does resonate in these circumstances. For the more adventurous at heart, this could open the door to a whole new world of a free and easy lifestyle. This is all well and good until the moment of blind horror and panic when you realise you’ve just seen someone you know. And this someone is not a someone you ever wanted to see naked. For those of you who have kept reading in the hopes of seeing pictures I’ll take this opportunity to tell/remind you, this just ain’t that kind of blog!
So there you have a little of the other side of the tracks but by no means the wrong side of the tracks. I challenge anyone the next time they hear the words country club to get these images out of their head and instead envisage middle-aged men carrying spare tyres, dragging themselves around a golf course!
The Last Bohemian City 